Monthly Archives: December 2011

Not Worth Knowing

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I never thought I’d say this, but here it goes. I’m f*&%ing sick of fairy tale endings.

I have hesitated in saying anything about my book because I wanted for people to experience it for themselves, but the realization hit me half way through a Lauren Weisberger novel (you know, the woman who wrote The Devil Wears Prada?).

Don’t get me wrong, chick lit novels are enjoyable, and easy to read, and I have been quick to tell people that my novel is a chick lit novel. I used to love them! However, while lounging on a, well, lounger, in the pool of a Dreams Resort in Punta Cana (believe me, the irony isn’t escaping me here) and almost finishing up the novel Everyone Worth Knowing, I had an epiphany –  my novel isn’t chick lit AT ALL.

Women’s fiction – yes. But is there a fairy tale ending where the girl ends up with the guy she’s been pining over for months? Well, yes…but there’s a twist. Just like in real life, not everything works out exactly as planned, and shit happens, and the girl has to deal.

Sometimes the real truth and beauty is when a woman picks up the pieces and is able to find happiness despite all the shit that hits the fan. I remember once talking to a beautiful woman from Italy who was completely at peace with the world, exuded confidence and never once had a single negative thing to say about anything. I found out months later from her that her husband had died six months earlier.

I was shocked. Why wasn’t she depressed and spinning out of control, binge drinking and pining away? She told me that their love was pure, of course she missed him, but she was alive. What happens in life is beyond your control, so you must appreciate who is in it when they are in it.

Of course, this sounds utopian, and unrealistic, but why can’t that be the case? Why can’t we deal with the issues that come up and appreciate what we’re given, when we’re given it? That – to me, is the essence of a fairy tale ending. Not succumbing to what society makes you believe is a fairy tale. Because that’s bullshit, and makes women grow up to idolize unrealistic expectations. Instead of being taught to appreciate the love that is around in the moment, we’re taught to yearn for the unrequited love that could possibly never be.

How ridiculous is that?

And this is what is making me mad after reading Weisberger’s novel. I won’t discuss how little actually happened in the book, because I wouldn’t want to bore you. But I will discuss how I think I’m just beyond the cookie cutter novel where everything happens exactly as you imagine. I found myself, by the end, hoping that Bette and Sammy never got together – that she figured out her career, moved in with her best friend Penelope, and they had a long, exciting life where they traveled from country to country and eventually died while holding each other’s hands diving off Machu Picchu. Now, THAT would be a better story.

But alas, not to ruin the ending, but trust me, you already know it – Sammy and Bette live happily ever after.

Somehow, I can stomach the romantic comedy as a movie. Perhaps because I acted for so many years, and appreciate the distinctive qualities that each actor brings to their character. I just expect more from writers. It’s our job to entertain simply through words – let’s keep at it.

What question would you ask to get to know someone?

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It’s the last few hours to enter to win a free copy of Three Questions! All you have to do is answer the question: “What question would you ask to get to know someone?” in my comments or Nathan’s.

Nathan Agin, over at Nonstop Awesomeness, was kind enough to interview me about my book, what practices I used to stay disciplined while writing the novel, and how I came up with the idea. He’s not just a great blogger, he and I acted together in a play in college called The Big Funk.

(I won’t be reposting his photo on my blog of us in the play – oh dear!)

Last chance to win a copy!!

Guest Posts & Happy Stuff

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All this plane flying has given me some time to write a few guest posts on other blogs (stay tuned for another one on Smitten By Britain‘s blog as well).

First up, I got to thinking more and more about why British actors are on our airwaves, and are seemingly better actors than us, the American counterparts.

This is what I came up with on Michelle‘s blog, The American Resident: Are British Actors Better than American Actors?

Then, a year ago, Toni Hargis, a British expat who now lives in Chicago and who met up with us in London during out expat bloggers convention (I’m exaggerating, there were about 6 of us), asked me to write about my repatriation experience.

Finally I got around to writing it: Repatriation: An American’s Story.

She also finished my novel, and wrote a smashing review! (You can read all my current reviews here – be sure to leave one if you haven’t already.)

“Don’t be fooled into thinking this is just another “girls-gone-wild” or chic-lit debut novel. Not only is “Three Questions” the delightful love story of American Adele and an Englishman named Guy- it asks surprisingly searching questions of both the characters and the reader.
From the simple – “What is your favorite meal?” to the scary “How would you describe your mom?”, Lopez delves deep into her characters’ hearts and souls. You’ll be rooting for the lovers throughout the book, and you won’t be disappointed with the denouement.”

8 days left before my Kickstarter ends – help me turn my novel into a screenplay through your contributions, and some great rewards (if you haven’t already). Email everyone you know, tweet out to the world, and post on Facebook! We can do this together!

 

Dreamers vs Realists

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I was watching a “Modern Family” episode the other day that perfectly described my relationship with Jock. Bear with me for a moment if you’ve seen it.
One half of the family (we’ll call them the “dreamers”) believed themselves completely able to lodge a pumpkin across the length of a football field. The other half (the “realists”) guffawed at the sheer idiocy of such a ridiculous idea.
The dreamers, not willing to give up their, well, ‘dream’, went to the football field with a rubber launching gadget and a pumpkin while the realists stood back waiting to be proven right.

Of course, the idea was ridiculous, the pumpkin barely got a few feet and splattered all over the ground, and the realists gloated for a few seconds while the dreamers were embarrassed and shamed. That’s when the magic happened (says the dreamer, and smiles).
The realists realized their cruelty (I like to call it “stomping on a poor, starving kitten after he rushed to get the last sip of milk”)…ah hem, anyway…and rushed to help figure out why it didn’t work and figure out a solution.

Now, if I weren’t a dreamer, I would never have written a book, left my job at Kelly Services to start working for a new startup nor would I always want the window seat on a plane simply to finally know what it was like to fly. But if Jock weren’t a realist to bring me back to earth, I would have spent all our money already, I would have published my book many months earlier when it wasn’t ready and I would have made countless other mistakes. Plus, we never have to argue about who gets the window seat. He prefers the aisle with extra leg room.

I like to think that I remind him that amazing things can happen if you let them and that sometimes dreaming makes life that much more exciting.

Here’s to the Ying balancing the yang.

Getting to know someone

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Sometimes the simplest ideas are the most overlooked.

I titled my book “Three Questions” based on the simple concept that Jock’s friend came up with while they were out and about. His friend, Darrell Kingsbury, used to sit in a pub and go around asking silly questions to the boys – “if you were an animal, what would you be?” “If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?” or “Who would you rather…”

When Jock and I met for those 8 hours, we knew that there wasn’t much time to get to know each other in Las Vegas, while drinking and dancing. So, he took his friend’s idea, and brought it to our letters while he was traveling through Africa. He randomly chose “three questions” and the rest is history.

At my book launch, I created these great Moo.com Mini Cards where I took three questions from my book, and created conversation starters.

It was such an integral part to the beginning of Jock and my relationship, that I never really appreciated how special it was. Maybe couples that have long-distance relationships actually have more time to get to know each other because they’re not confused by all the physical and everyday stuff that sometimes gets in the way.

There’s just something so intensely romantic about getting to know someone through letters. Of course, the challenge is making sure that you aren’t projecting false information onto that person.

So, do you think you can get to know someone better by being long-distance, or is it better to be in the same town?