Getting to know someone

Sometimes the simplest ideas are the most overlooked.

I titled my book “Three Questions” based on the simple concept that Jock’s friend came up with while they were out and about. His friend, Darrell Kingsbury, used to sit in a pub and go around asking silly questions to the boys – “if you were an animal, what would you be?” “If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?” or “Who would you rather…”

When Jock and I met for those 8 hours, we knew that there wasn’t much time to get to know each other in Las Vegas, while drinking and dancing. So, he took his friend’s idea, and brought it to our letters while he was traveling through Africa. He randomly chose “three questions” and the rest is history.

At my book launch, I created these great Moo.com Mini Cards where I took three questions from my book, and created conversation starters.

It was such an integral part to the beginning of Jock and my relationship, that I never really appreciated how special it was. Maybe couples that have long-distance relationships actually have more time to get to know each other because they’re not confused by all the physical and everyday stuff that sometimes gets in the way.

There’s just something so intensely romantic about getting to know someone through letters. Of course, the challenge is making sure that you aren’t projecting false information onto that person.

So, do you think you can get to know someone better by being long-distance, or is it better to be in the same town?

Kirsten

I’m still reading your book (I got held up by the craziness of the holidays) and I definitely, definitely think it is much easier to get to know someone long-distance. Although we weren’t separated by a massive ocean, my husband and I met while attending two different destination weddings in Costa Rica and navigated an unexpected long-distance relationship between Washington, DC and New York. Granted, I fully acknowledge that our travel options were limitless, but it’s also difficult navigating the cost to see each other. Scot made a lot more money than I did (starving actress), and it was difficult to try and find a balance (my garbage, not his). We spent hours on the phone for the first six months of our relationship…..and exchanged even more emails throughout the day. We knew each other so well by the time I finally made the decision to move to DC and I am really thankful our relationship started that way. Five years later and a new city and it somehow worked. Pura vida, and thank you Costa Rica.
- http://www.ladywholunches.net/blog Meagan
  
  Twitter: meagan[meagan]
  Wow. Incredible story!! I love hearing that I’m not the only one who made a long distance story work. Congrats on your relationship. Like a fairy tale!!
Hanna

Loved the book, Meagan!
I’ve taken to asking any new guy that I meet to connect with me by email first. If he can hold a conversation and is an interesting writer/conversationalist and I like what I hear, I’ll be more likely to want to have dinner I’m at that age, and comfortable enough alone, that if I don’t like what I hear, I won’t go out with him.
Many years back I had a long-distance relationship with a great guy in Roanoke, Virginia. There was no email yet and long distance wasn’t cheap, so letters we wrote. I still have them, 20 years later, and I still smile when I read them today!
- http://www.ladywholunches.net/blog Meagan
  
  Twitter: meagan[meagan]
  Really Hanna? That’s awesome. I totally get it and it makes sense to get to know someone intimately via letters first. I think it could certainly back fire if there is one party that isn’t being completely honest and is hiding behind the letters, but otherwise, I wholeheartedly back it!
  
  How romantic that you still have those letters! Where is he these days??
  - Hanna
    
    Sadly we lost touch with each other many years ago. I heard he got married and had 2 kids. Gosh I just thought about it and they would be the age now that we were then. Wow! And what was I saying “20 years ago”. It was actually 27 yrs ago. Oh man, I’m old – lol.
Eileenmoshea

Wow, tough question. I think it can work either way. But personally, I can be more honest in writing than face to face.
- http://www.ladywholunches.net/blog Meagan
  
  Twitter: meagan[meagan]
  I agree – it’s refreshing to write.
http://twitter.com/SmittnbyBritain SmittenbyBritain

I love that idea, and it can work for new friendships as well.

Meagan Adele Lopez' Blog

Just a gal musing about life, travel and love

Getting to know someone