I’m not sure if I made it abundantly clear when I started this series, but I had always intended on writing 30 reasons about why I’m glad to be leaving my twenties by the time I turned 30. This date happens to be this Saturday coming up – *shock* *horror* *slaps face a few times*.
That would mean that I would have to write approximately 3.3 blog posts per day until then. However, who made up that dumb rule after all? I did! I set an unrealistic expectation for myself, and now I have a week left to complete this goal. But who cares?! Honestly, would you, as the readers, really be angry at me for not completing a goal that I didn’t even tell you about? Would you even notice?
My entire twenties have been about setting these impossible goals for myself, or was it simply setting myself up for failure? There is a fine line between being ambitious, and simply sabotaging any possibility of success.
I did it when I was writing my novel as well – I had it in my mind that I absolutely had to finish writing the book before I left England for America. And I did. I finished it. But I didn’t finish it well, and subsequently I published a first edition book that wasn’t nearly as polished as it should have been. And this was all simply because of an arbitrary date that I set in my own head.
At 22, I was still pissed off that I didn’t make my goal of becoming as famous as Britney Spears by the time I was 18. At 24, I was horrified that I was just graduating from college – (of course I didn’t take into account the facts that I had two degrees, had studied in Paris for a year and worked and lived in New York for a year in between). Now here I am at 29, and success is important to me but it’s in my hands what that means and no one else’s. I’m sick of using society’s guidelines for what my success should be, and setting completely ridiculous goals on myself.
My friend, Michela Bedard, said it best regarding her twenties on my Facebook wall, and why she was pleased to be leaving them: “That I had to explain myself, my plan for my life, that my actions had to fall along a certain path toward a planned future. Now my path is vague but happy, calming and confident.”
Again, it’s important to have goals but with matters of love and life – well, shit happens! And you can’t always predict how it’s going to turn out.
So, moving forward I am vowing to set realistic expectations for myself. Set goals, but reevaluate them along the way. For example, there is no way I am going to finish this series by next Saturday – so I’ll push it to the end of the month. And if that doesn’t work out, then I’ll finish it when I finish it.
After all, I am training for a half marathon, writing my second novel, editing a screenplay, working full time in social media advertising and working on my 4 year relationship. So, I may need to take a day off to get my hair done, or swim in the lake, or smell some flowers…
It’ll get done, and in the meantime, I won’t feel bad about not finishing it “on time” because I deserve to be easy on myself. We all do.
Take it easy on yourself, love yourself and be proud of yourself – you deserve it.