Tag Archives: Americans

We’re Moving!

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Tis the end of the lady who lunches era/reign/bubble…she will soon be a lady who busts her ass at a wonderful job in writing that she adores in Chicago (that’s the idea, at least). In six weeks, we will be on our flight back to Baltimore!

We’re ready to try America out for a while. It’s been a year and a half in lovely England, and it just feels like the right time to move. We’ve gone back and forth on this decision for many months, hence my lack of discussion on here.

I am ecstatic!

Jock will be doing his same job in the states, and I will have to find something new. Don’t particularly fancy going back to casting (although for the right job, maybe), and now that I’ve started my career in writing, I’d like to continue – magazine or newspaper would be ideal.

If I can get a book deal in the next couple of months, obviously that would help majorly. As you know from my previous post, I am working hard at getting that done. Any contacts or advice from the Chicagoans would be greatly appreciated!

Meanwhile, the first couple of months in America will simply be relaxing and traveling. Jock and I have managed to save up a good deal of money so we don’t have to worry about finding work right away.

We’re thinking – uncle’s house in Las Vegas, grandpa’s cabin in North Carolina, best friend’s apartment in NYC, perhaps the beach in Ocean City, MD, a friend’s wedding in Chicago and maybe grandparent’s house in Miami, oh and of course Baltimore for a couple of weeks!

So, although our flight home is in just six weeks, we won’t actually be living in Chicago until September. (Chicago is the place where Jock and I fell in love nearly two years ago. We considered moving back to LA, but I kind of feel like I’ve been there, done that. Plus, he has a lot of friends in Chicago, and it’s right in between my hometown of Baltimore and my college town of Los Angeles.)

Never thought I would say that about moving back to the states, but I can’t wait to have my family and friends around me, grab a big gulp at 7Eleven, dry my clothes in a machine and wrap myself in a freshly dried, soft, warm towel, sunbathe in the SUN on a sandy beach, and eat a butterfinger, buy cheap intercontinental flights to Miami, LA, NYC, Baltimore, etc., and to talk to strangers in the street.

Things I am not looking forward to: American television, every girl and their mother asking my boyfriend where he’s from (and then batting their eyelashes and swooning – I will knock them out with a bat if I have to! *random aggressive feeling*), portion sizes, American radio (except your show Tyler, I will tune in for country just for you), country music, that feeling I always get in America that I’m not doing enough and can always do better, talking to strangers in the street.

P.S. Watch out Chicago ladies, because I will be starting another ladies group when I get there. Need my women around me! But of course, I will miss the original Ladies Who…!

The Great British Lie

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It’s strange to be in a country that seems so proud to be British, and yet is chasing the same American dream that – well – Americans chase. We get blamed for a lot, but are copied more.

I’m going to just come out and say it – The Mother country of England wants desperately to be the rebellious teen that is America. (My British friends reading this will probably scream at my audacity, and I understand why. I won’t apologize (or even apologise), but I will say I did not want to come to this conclusion. I was in denial for a long time. And – obviously – it’s nothing personal.)

I’ve never said anything because it wasn’t completely evident at first – at least not to me. I mean, why would it be? When I move to another country, I assume that it will be me doing the assimilating, changing my patterns to fit in with them. I will be the outcast, and yearning to one day be able to soften my vowels. I have assimilated. There are huge differences in our two cultures.

It’s just, England always seemed so sure of itself. So goddamn – well, older and more wise.

I didn’t say anything even when I first began to notice because I was watching, waiting to be sure I wasn’t just seeing things. I’ll admit it: I thought the UK was bigger and badder than it actually is. I was deceived like so many others.

I utterly believed that Simon Cowell and his country knew everything there was to know about life. I mean, if they had a country full of Simon Cowell’s, why on earth would they need us? That’s the irony of it all – they need us. Simon Cowell needs us probably more than we need him.

And, we buy into it. In America, we’re bred to believe the the British are, in some ways, irrevocably more cultured and well-bred than we are. We watch in awe as actors take over our television screens, putting on better American accents than most of us as Americans can do. We are obsessed with the royal family. We giggle when we meet a man or woman with an accent, throwing our hair to one side. We automatically assume they are more intelligent than we are.

Most people think we are full of ourselves. In reality, I think many Americans are insecure about being American. We’ve been hated for so long. It might even be an epidemic.

But, let me let those Americans in on a little secret I’ve found out for myself…many British – not all and maybe not even the majority, but a big enough chunk for me to take notice – they actually wish they were American. (Or, they certainly wish they could live and work there.) Shhhhhhh. Don’t tell them I told you. They will deny it to their graves, and they will curse me to the heavens. But, below are a few things that have led me to this conclusion.

Sure, they complain about us. Sure, they curse us for polluting the Earth just as much as China. Sure, they hate most of our policies. But also, secretly, they love it. Jack Kerouac’s vision of a road trip is still blossoming in the British minds like a prepubescent boy’s first porno mag. Our ability to bear arms is disgusting to them and, at the same time, mesmerizing.

Some examples -

Their election process. It is taking place right now, and is eerily echoing many campaigns I have seen in my own country – more specifically the debates. I am told its because the Lib Dems demanded to have more of a voice against the shadow of the Labour Party and the Conservatives, and for the first time in the UK’s history, they are having staged debates. Actually, it appears that it was the Prime Minister’s idea (and more importantly, Peter Mandelson). The PM realized he needed to jump ahead in the opinion’s poll and therefore realized that a bit of “show biz” might do well for his image. That makes sense. (Ultimately, the UK is even more of a democracy than we are – they have had Question Time and the Prime Minister’s Questions every week since 1979  in which citizens can ask the PM and the people in charge straight forward questions about topics they want answers to. We have nothing of the sort. The most you can hope to question the top decision makers in the US is by writing them a letter, staging a protest (which will get shut down before it starts) or getting petitions signed. I really wish we had a Question Time.)

Normally, the UK’s election process is very different to America’s. (Read more about the differences at the blog, Pond Parleys, here.) However, this year, due to the Lib Dems, they are having American-style interviews and debates in which charisma matters! Its supposed to be all about the policies and yet the candidates and the news programs analyzing the candidates succumb to the pressure of discussing mainly: the candidate’s appearance, their gesticulations and how they eat ice cream with the grannies. (I seem to remember a certain Obama who did that same thing.) It is becoming more about the person, and less about the policies. Just like in good ole USA.

Celebrating the 21st birthday – We are celebrating a 21st birthday coming up, and I’m confused. I am told there are two big birthdays for a British person – their 18th and 21st. OK, I get the 18th one – they become an adult and can legally drink, vote and drive (although not in that order). But, the 21st? I have yet to have someone explain to me why the 21st birthday is a big deal. There was a vague explanation that it marks a British person’s adulthood, but how? What can they do when they turn 21 that is any different from when they were 20?  In America, we can drink legally for the first time in our lives. I can only come to one conclusion – and that is, they are celebrating the ability to drink in America.

Celebrities – no matter what anyone says, it is the goal of every British celebrity to “crack America.” I hear it all over the news, in the newspapers and in interviews – “Oh, if only I could crack America.” In terms of profit, I get it, it’s a bigger market and many record labels and agents want their acts to rake in the most amount of money. But, Hollywood still has the same sexy allure it did back when Marilyn Monroe was alive, and Elvis Presley was topping the charts. America is the ultimate end-all for show business to this day.

Proms – I didn’t realize this, but apparently proms are becoming bigger and bigger over here. Mike from Postcards from Across the Pond makes a good point about these. You can read it here.

Halloween – Trick or treating? The appeal is traversing the pond. Dressing up and having big “fancy dress” parties – same. (Watch Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry’s take on this phenomenon sent to me by HBLX: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZITno-8HP9o)

I won’t even go into the effect that McDonald’s, chain stores, clothing stores, etc. has had over here. That happened a while ago, and everyone knows the impact of mass consumerism.

There are many more examples, but I’ll leave it at that.

Perhaps it’s just a mutual respect we have in this “special relationship”. After all, how many Americans wish they could live and work here in the UK? I know Smitten by Britain does for sure ;) . I also realize that a big part of my opinion comes from what I see in the media, and the fact that my ears prick up whenever I hear my country being mentioned so perhaps that’s already a biased opinion. I just can’t stop thinking that people feel they are on the wrong side of the pond – on both sides of the pond.

Feel free to shower me with your comments – agreements? Disagreements?

It Caught Up

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This entry could be called “Random Thursday Thoughts” (not to be confused with “Random Tuesday Thoughts” by 3 Bedroom Bungalow.)

Last year, I got here in December, so winter only lasted three or four months…max.

I had forgotten how long winter is! Last year, I said, “I don’t know why everyone complains about winter. I think it’s nice to have a break from the heat every once in a while.”
This year, it’s February, and I’m already in month four or five? And, it’s not looking like it’s going to be dissipating anytime soon. Yes, I have to say that after a year and two months in England (officially today!) that I am over this weather. Many thought it would take only a few months, a few days. I have outlasted most perhaps. But, I am so over it.

What I wouldn’t give for Los Angeles right now.

Although, tonight I had a nice brisk walk, and it felt nice. At least I wasn’t sweating. I don’t like sweat very much either.

Oh, and it’s my half birthday. So, feel free to wish me a very merry half birthday! Why do half birthdays stop as soon as you enter double digits?

Did I mention that I got my first for-real freelancing job? I did. I am now a professional writer (the first time I wrote that sentence, I accidentally put a t instead of a w after no. That would have been awkward.)

I met up with an American who found me through my blog. She just moved here, and we went for lunch on Tuesday.

I love her. No, seriously. She seems amazing, and I hope she becomes my friend. Internet friend dating can be creepy, but this girl rocked my socks off in a purely platonic girl-love way.

Perhaps I’m American-person starved? I keep thinking I hear an American accent everywhere I go, and yesterday, I actually got it right. It can be embarrassing when I go up to strangers and ask them if they’re American, and they tell me they are Scottish. That has happened. Jock says I have the worst ears for accents ever.

Probably true. But, yesterday, at the cinema (or movie theater as we Americans say), I met two girls from New Jersey! How random is that? I think they may have thought I was crazy when I kind of stalked them for a minute in the ladies room, and then finally got the guts to ask. The worst part is I left mid-way through our conversation. What was I supposed to do? There was a stall opening, and I couldn’t stand around all day while we discussed the fact that I used to live in New Jersey when I was 8 years old.

What else?

I think I may cut all my hair off tomorrow. Will let you know after hairdressers. Thinking bob a la Katie Holmes. Or possibly Meg Ryan a la City of Angels. Or Frankie Sandford from The Saturdays.



Signs I am still American

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In honor (first sign! lack of ‘u’ in word) of Thanksgiving, I would like to make some observations as to why I am still very very American, and proud of it, despite having lived in the motherland for almost a year.

  • *I do not consider it rude to ask someone why they are “double fisting” at a party. They are simply holding two glasses of alcohol to me. Apparently, not to the British…I’m sure you can guess what they might think that means.
  • *I still refuse to say “Ta” when saying Thank You. I still refuse to say “Cheers” when saying Thank You. “Cheers” is when you raise your glass to another’s. Perhaps to another person who is double fisting it.
  • *A flan pan to me is something my Grandma Lopez would mold her delicious Cuban flan in. Not a pie pan. A pie pan is where you cook a dessert. The number of days wasted looking for a 9″ pie pan could have been better used otherwise.
  • *I have no clue what 5 grams means, nor do I 15 degrees Celsius. I like that Americans are the only ones who even understand our own type of measurement – Fahrenheit, cups, tablespoons, lbs…it all sounds like bright sunshine to me.
  • *I still strode down the grocery aisles and department stores expecting to find Thanksgiving decorations, despite being in another country that does not celebrate the holiday. That’s how arrogant I am.
  • *I say that I like a girl’s “boo” as in; I approve of her boyfriend, and I expect her to understand with no explanation. I don’t expect to be corrected on my pronunciation. “Boo? No, isn’t it beau, love?” Where is my Urban Dictionary when I need it?
  • *I floss my teeth every morning. When I put “floss” in my phone for predictive text, it didn’t even have “floss” as an option. “Flops” was all I got.
  • *I still cringe every time I hear someone say “I’m going to use the toilet.” I will always think “Ladies Room” sounds much classier.
  • *I get offended when someone says waffles and pancakes should only be eaten as desserts. BREAKFAST!! I eat them for BREAKFAST! And, I don’t care if I’m a fat American. That’s how we do.
  • *I get even more offended when my first lady is morphed into looking like a monkey. That is NOT funny.
  • *I don’t, nor will I ever, consider men in drag funny.
  • *My accent is probably stronger, not softer, than when I first got here. Damn, I’m stubborn, huh?

On another note, you’ll all be pleased to know the dinner party is coming along smashingly. No sweaty armpits just yet. Thanks to my lovely mother who called and gave me a few pointers. She gave me this article in Parade Magazine as well. It completely solves my problem of awkward moments where I ask people what they are thankful for – I’ve instead, created a Giving Thanks bowl with silver beads I found at Wilkinson’s. My sign reads:

At any point this evening, when you feel grateful for someone or something in your life, take a bead and place it in the bowl. The gratitude is not spoken, but shared with others by your action.

Pictures to follow! Hope everyone else has a wonderful Thanksgiving with people you love.

M.A.L.