The thing with consistently outlaying anything – be it this blog, a lady’s night, running, tweets, whatever – is that there will be times where it goes stronger than ever, and other times where it teeters on non-existent. I imagine marriage to be similar, but that’s another whole blog entry. Sometimes I will have ten to twenty comments on a blog post, and other times, none. But it all comes back to the fact that I love having an outlet for expression.
Same with the lady’s group I started back in July with the other girls.
Last night, we had “Ladies Who….Wii” night, and although the RSVP’s started strong – there were 12 people who were going to attend. By five o’clock yesterday afternoon, the numbers dwindled down to 3. Poor Jen who was hosting, she couldn’t help but feel it was indicative of how people felt towards her! Silly how we women think. It was just one of those days where people had other things come up in their lives…one’s moving this weekend and needed to finish moving boxes, another’s studying for a course, another one had a birthday party that was scheduled last minute, etc.
At first, I was disappointed because I had been working my ass off to get my novel finished by yesterday night. I worked until midnight every single evening this week, and stressed both Jock and myself out by running to the printer’s last minute yesterday. I found the cheapest guy in town, but with 225 pages and 7 copies – it still came to £47. I still have at least twenty pages left to write for the ending, but I figured I could email them those pages. At least the rest of the book was up to snuff to show off.
I handed out two copies, and the rest are still sitting in a box. But would I have worked as hard the last couple of weeks had I not had a due date? Probably not. Would I still be slowly peddling through the editing process, checking my email every five minutes? Yeah. Did this teach me how much I love getting lost in my work for hours at a time, and the biggest reward is when the time passes without you knowing? Definitely. Did I ever feel this way about acting? Nope. Do I regret giving up acting? Not right now. Will I go back to it? Yeah, probably. Performing is in me.
Nevertheless, the three of us who were there had a really amazing time chatting, playing Wii (Jen kicked my ass in bowling and tennis, but I literally punched her lights out in boxing. Yeh!). And my BMI is 22…I’m the least likely to get sick.
Having the time to consistently work towards a goal is the best gift that England and Jock have given me. And, if people don’t show up every once in a while, my knee decides to stop my running for a bit, or my readership dwindles on my blog, I’ll still make the best of it. I’ll still keep asking the universe for shit. And, as my wise sister says re: the universe and asking for stuff: “I ask for lots of things. We have an ongoing dialogue and it never ceases to make me laugh at the answers it gives. Trusting in that is the most rewarding and hardest life lesson.”